Monday, January 30, 2017

Cuthbert's 5 Universal Laws of the Vinyl Universe

1. The visually-perfect LP you were delighted to find will only skip, pop or crackle on your favorite song.

2. The centuries-tested laws of supply and demand do not apply to the Beatles or Led Zeppelin.  
Even though there have been zillions and zillions of Beatles and Led Zeppelin records manufactured across the last half-century, their record prices will always be among the highest wherever you shop – despite the fact existing world supply is more plentiful than bananas.

3. An album you’ve bought mostly because you love the cover art will always have a non-removable price sticker on it, or a sticker that leaves a gummy residue when you attempt to remove it.

4.  An inexpensive, high quality reissue of the album you can't live without will always come out a few weeks after you’ve paid top dollar for the older version of your "must-have" album.

5.  If you are over age 50 -- when crouching for more than three minutes is painfully annoying -- a record store’s greatest album treasures (with the lowest prices) will always be in crates on the floor—or, eye level for crawling babies.

1 comment:

  1. #6. The most valuable LP is the one that was formerly in your collection, but no longer because it was loaned to an ex-girlfriend or a friend you had for about two weeks.
    #7. At age 25 you will surmise that your tastes have changed and rid yourself of several records that will become all-time classics.


Comments welcome!